What It Feels Like to Build for Moms Right Now

A reflection on maternal mental health, systemic gaps, and why Confidante exists.

Moms are the heart, mind, and steady force that quietly powers the rhythm of family life.

In nearly every home we know, a mother’s brain is the operating system.

The unseen planner, emotional barometer, calendar syncer, snack strategist, school liaison, conflict de-escalator, career juggler, and so much more.

But unlike in the workplace, where responsibilities often come with clear roles, resources, and a team to back you up, most of what happens at home is unstructured, unsupported, and unspoken.

At home… it’s just mom.

So it’s no surprise that a major new study, involving nearly 200,000 mothers, found that 1 in 12 moms in the U.S. now rate their mental health as fair or poor. That’s a significant decline from 2016, and it’s getting worse.

The data, published in JAMA Internal Medicine and recently covered by The New York Times, reveals that mothers’ mental health has steadily declined over the past seven years. It’s not just a pandemic effect, it’s a reflection of deeper, structural issues that have gone unaddressed for decades. Housing costs, lack of paid leave, skyrocketing childcare expenses, isolation, and the invisible weight of carrying the emotional labor of a family, all of it accumulates.

As Dr. Tamar Gur shared in the article:

“Now I have something I can point to when I’m seeing a patient and say, ‘You’re not alone in this.’ This is happening nationally, and it’s a real problem.”

And it is happening, on both the national level and in the intimate conversations we have with moms every single day.

Just yesterday, a mom texted me. Her nanny had called out sick. She had a meeting with her new CEO that afternoon and was faced with the impossible question:

“Do I tell him the truth about my childcare situation? Or do I try to time nap perfectly and hope the call goes uninterrupted?”

The fact that she even had to ask tells you everything.

She didn’t feel safe being honest about her reality. And she’s not alone.

Not only are moms carrying it all, they’re often forced to conceal it too.

That emotional dissonance builds stress. And who absorbs that stress?

Moms. Their kids. Their partners. Their bodies.

This is the daily experience for so many, and the weight of it is invisible until it cracks something open.

Some moms are lucky enough to have a therapist or coach to help navigate this, someone who can witness their truth, regulate the nervous system with them, and help them make values-aligned decisions. But what about the millions who don’t have access, time, or energy for that kind of support? Or who need it more often than their weekly or bi-weekly session?

That’s exactly who we’re building Confidante for.

We’re building for the mom who knows she needs to pause, but can’t find the moment to.

For the one who’s stuck in fight-or-flight, trying to choose between two impossible options.

For the one who just wants to feel seen, supported, and reminded that she’s doing better than she thinks.

Confidante isn’t a substitute for systemic change, we still need the real stuff:

Paid family medical leave

Affordable, high-quality childcare

Mental health access

Better cultural narratives about what it means to parent

But we also know change at that scale takes time.

In the meantime, moms are struggling. And they deserve support right now.

Confidante exists to fill the in-between, the quiet moments when a mom is drowning in decision fatigue, self-doubt, or sheer exhaustion and needs a nonjudgmental place to land.

We use AI not to replace human care, but to make reflective, emotional support more accessible, daily, and real-time.

A place to park your worries. Ask your questions. Breathe. Reflect. Remember who you are and what matters to you.

Because moms aren’t just holding it together, they’re holding up the world.

And someone needs to be holding them.

We are building this for moms because we are moms. We know the emotional labor. We feel the cracks. And we believe no one should have to navigate this alone.

So to every mom reading this:

You are not imagining it.

It is a lot.

And you are absolutely worthy of support, now, not someday.

We’re building Confidante for you.

We see you. We believe in you. And we’ve got you.